First Trimester Woes

First: I was going back through my blog, and realized I never posted on the 31st - the day of our Ultrasound when we went in to see if I was in fact pregnant..... in case you havn't guessed - I am !!! We saw the little heartbeat and we heard it as well, which is rare in the 7th week but transvaginal ultrasounds, while a bit invasive, sure do have their plus-side.

So here I am, 8 and 1/2 weeks along, and I think I want to die. It is quite possible that I did die, and I was wrong about the whole God not existing thing, and I am actually in hell. I hurt all the time, I want to puke from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to sleep, and probably during sleep I just don't know it, however I rarely actually do puke. I think puking might be better than constantly feeling like I am going to. Although the other night I was laying in bed watching TV while Chris was packing, Taylor was talking to me, and suddenly here it came.... I jumped out of bed, did 3 leaps over things on my bedroom floor while simultaneously gagging, and made it to the toilet just in time for the purging of my insides. Lovely.

And then there is the exhaustion. I know that one of the common pregnacy symptoms is "extreme fatigue" but you have no idea how extreme it is. I am close to tears when I have to make dinner. I want to kill myself when I have to start the daily rounds to pick the children up from their various schools. It is RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!! Now I am not the most active person by far, I don't like to excercise and am not really a busy-body, but THIS. IS. INSANE. I have literally had to explain to my kids that I am in bed because of how sick I feel from the pregnancy, and they can come lay in bed with me whenever they want to. And they do - kids are great in that way. They totally understand, it's really awesome.

BUT. We are all so excited about this baby that it makes every single second of my misery worth it. The payoff will be absolutly amazing and I know that. I am going to give my husband a wonderful gift, my children too, and of course myself. And I do have the most supportive husband, who tells me not to do anything but be pregnant. I only have about 3 and 1/2 weeks left of the first trimester and then we coast for the next 3 months. That is when the glow will come, the constant urge to urinate will leave, I can eat like a normal person, I will have some energy back, and I will feel good and normal again! 3 months of rest before I grow as big as a house and have to lay around all the time waiting to meet our little creation.

God.... I cannot WAIT to meet our creation. OUR creation. Our little human, our son or daughter, ours. Just the thought of it brightens my entire day.