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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I'm not your superwoman

Do you remember that song from the late 80's? HA. I heard it on my Sirius today and I remembered all the words. And although my husband is so wonderful and appreciateve and not at all like the man that she is singing about in that song, I couldn't help but think "Yah! I'm NOT superwoman!!!" Oh my word - what I am is 33 weeks pregnant and still trying to act like I'm a spring chicken! Let me be the first to say I am no longer a spring chicken!!!!!!!!! I am 31 year old mother of many who is carrying around 30 or so extra pounds! Oy Vey!



I am in pain today. I did too much. But when Chris called me to tell me that H&R Block called and our tax check was in - it energized me to a point that no nesting instinct could touch! I was suddenly out of bed, singing in the shower, slabbing on make-up and even doing my hair, I was singing in the truck, off to get my monaaaay!!! Kinsey and I went all over town - to the grocery store, the cell phone store, the bank of course, the baby store - my mommy just happened to get the gift she is getting for baby and I had to pick it up immediatly, we ate lunch, did all sorts of running around. I even tired out the 2 year old! Of course, once I had the gift in my hot little hands, I had to lug it into the house by myself and put it all together. She bought us the carseat and stroller traveller center, woop woop!!! I called her to tell her I can now have the baby today and I would be all set thanks to her! Here is a picture of it all put together:


This was the one thing daddy really had his heart set on - he picked it out which might explain why it is not incredibly "baby-ish" but he was so very excited at the idea of having a jogger stroller for the baby instead of having to wait until the baby was big enough for the regular stroller. He also assures me that the actual tires will be so much better than the plastic tires, and I have to admit he is probably right. With all the sports our kids are constantly playing, all the time we spend at the lake and all the camping we do, having a sturdy stroller made for activity is going to suit our family perfectly. It is great for a boy or a girl, and in fact when I was waiting for the man to load this into my truck there was a lady with a little girl about 9 months old or so sitting in MY stroller! She raved on and on about how much she loved it. It really is so easy to push, it turns on a dime, and the cup holders are actually deep to enough to, I don't know, HOLD A CUP!!

So I am sitting down for the first time and it is at times like this when I realize how much I have overdone it. The Braxton Hicks are coming strong and my hip is killing me. Oh well. I got a lot done.

Baby shower is this weekend, we are SO excited!! I can't believe how fast this whole journey is coming to a close and how soon we will get to meet our bundle!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Does time actually stop - or is it just me?

I think these next 8-ish weeks will be the longest of my life. Time has slowly been slowing down, and I am concerned that it will actually completely stop before too long. I know this happens towards the end of pregnancy, but I hoped it would not happen to me because I had planned on enjoying each and every second of this pregnancy. And I am. But I am also ready to have my baby, in my arms, at my breast, on daddy's chest. I am ready.

I was not aware how much I missed having a baby. I know I don't actually have the baby yet, but the getting ready has really made me remember so many things that I forgot. All the little diapers, the baby clothes, the onesies, the bibs, the pacifires, the nursing bras and nursing pads and nursing camis, all the toys and supplies. Then there is just the having of someone who needs you and relies on you completely for their life. Then there is the baby smell, the baby sounds, those precious little scents and noises that only last for such a short time. When I had my first 2 I was so young, and they were so close together, and it was my first time as a parent, that I just didn't realize how fast certain things go by, and then they are just gone. Never again to see a toothless smile, never again to have baby throw up on your shirt, never again to listen to your infant make those gulping sounds as they nurse. The little clothes that they only fit into for a few months, and then poof! they are too small and they will never ever be that size again.

I have been spending lots of time with my kids half-sister, my ex-husbands little girl. She is so special and precious. She makes me see more ways that little kids are so unique and special, and that this age, she is almost 3, is so precious when they are learning so many things, asking so many questions, trying to understand things. How they just play and talk to themselves, talk to their stuffed animals, it is so amazing. I will be taking so much video of our baby so that I don't lose any of this time. I need need need to videotape my tummy moving before I give birth, because that is another thing I never want to forget.

So even though the days are getting longer, the baby is getting bigger, and I am getting more uncomfortable, I know that in just 8 weeks or less I will give birth for what may be the last time. I will feel those kicks, rolls, punches, and hiccups, for what may be the last time. I will have a living tiny human being inside of me for what may be the last time. With Alex, I was not prepared for that to be the last time. Not that I planned on having another baby, but it was just not something I really thought about. Or if I did, I was too young at 21 to understand and grasp with "the last time" really meant. The finality of it all. And even though this time Chris and I are still open to the possibility of another pregnancy being in our future, particularly if this baby is a boy, I still fully comprehend that this is likely to be the last time. I am treating it as if it were the last time. And I am so. so. so. SO. thankful that I have had this oppurtunity to become a mother again. To unite with my husband, the love of my life, my soulmate, in this way. To be able to look at this baby, the crystal clear 4d ultrasound pictures, with Chris and have us saying "that looks like your nose, that is definitly your chin, I think those will be your lips" and to know in less than 2 months we will be laying in our bed, our child between us, saying those same things. We will be able to say "Well I see where she gets her temper from" "he sure seems to have your patience" ......... things that I never knew I wanted, needed, craved, or missed.

I truly feel so lucky and so blessed to have such a wonderful, dedicated, loving, caring, patient, amazing husband. One who is not afraid to love his wife with everything he has, one who is not embarassed to love and play with his children, one who is able to give himself 100% to his family, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It seems so odd to me that such a perfect and amazing man is actually divorced, because I cannot for one second imagine a more perfect husband and father. I cannot phathom how someone could have let him go. But now he is mine, has been for almost 8 years now, and I will not ever make the hideous mistake of letting him get away from me. Not ever. Together, we are awaiting the birth of our miracle, and I ask myself each and every day, can it possibly get better than this?

Monday, February 18, 2008

32 weeks

Today I had my 32 week appointment and it went great. I am about 3 days early with Dr. Scates for my appointments, so I had my 32 weeker today even though I am not really 32 weeks until Thursday. It is fine with me though, it actually makes it go by faster in my brain. I think he might let me go a week or so early too - if I am lucky. I asked when I start coming in once a week, and he said 36 weeks but sometimes 35. So maybe I will be the lucky one.

In update news - I gained 2.5 pounds and now weight 151.5. Which means I have gained 31.5 pounds for the whole pregnancy. Which is a lot. But the Dr. is not the least bit concerned. My glucose was completely normal, my iron is great, so I am neither diabetic nor anemic. I measure "spot on" for where I should be this week, and he could feel the baby's head in my lower abdomen while he was pressing on my tummy. It's all good, good, good.

Baby still moves a lot. When I do my kick counts, s/he kicks 10 times in lie 10 minutes. It can take up to 2 hours! HA!! This baby is never still for 2 hours, not yet anyway. I keep reading that s/he might slow down on the movements in these later weeks because the room in there is dwindling. That doesn't seem to bother Baby G though, s/he finds room under my ribs, in my lungs, on top on my bladder, don't think for one minute a lack of room slows our baby down! Chris says all the time s/he is a "mover and shaker, just like daddy!!" So cute.

I have one cute husband story and thats it! Last night we were shopping at Target, we just had to run in for some candles to finish up the room we had been decorating all weekend. So of course all the Easter clothes are out now, including those adorable little frilly dresses. He walks by the little girls section, and stops and just starts staring at the dresses. "If we have a little girl, I want her to wear THAT" !!! It was too cute. Then there was a big poster of a little girl, probably 2 or 3, with blonde pigtails and big blue eyes, and he said "that is what our daughter would look like, just like that." I thought it was adorable. He is the best. He has been rubbing lotion on my ginormous belly every night, and he has started singing to the baby. He sings "It's Macen, it's Macen, my wonderful wonderful boy!" then of course, to be fair, "It's London, it's London, my wonderful wonderful girl!"

Oh. Which reminds me. We picked names. London Collait for a girl, Macen Taylor for a boy. Now all the child needs to do is get here - 8 more weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woop Woop!!!!!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

30 weeks

I will be 30 weeks this week. Wow. In the last stretch! My Dr. appt. was yesterday and everything is going great. I gained 3.5 pounds in 2 weeks. Oh boy. That's 7 a month. This means that by the end I should weigh around 160 pounds if I am pregnant for 8 more weeks. From 115 pre-pregnancy pounds. My word. Doctor said my fundal height was a little big too - which means baby is a little big for his or her age. Which further means I might get my wish and he will let me go a week or so early. This was his suggestion, and I love him immensly for it. I will be sad not being pregnant anymore, but I am so anxious to meet this baby! Anyway, he did not mention one word about the weight, so I said to him "I gained three and a half pounds ..." he just went "yep", shrugged, and said "don't worry about it." Have I mentioned that I LOVE him?

Baby is still moving a lot, which I anticipate will slow down pretty soon here as room in my tummy gets more and more compact. We can also hear the heartbeat with a stethoscope - something that gives Chris and I hours and hours of entertainment each night. The baby loves it when Chris rubs my tummy - he or she starts kicking and rolling around whenever he or she hears daddy's voice. It will be love at first sight for those two I am certain!