36 weeks today

Today I am officially 36 weeks. So many of my friends/fellow bloggers have their dates already. And even though some of them are 2 weeks after my due date, these are certain dates. Dates of c-sections or inductions. Dates that they know they will not go beyond. It is an end in sight. A light at the end of the tunnel. I do not have one of these dates. And while I really like the idea of allowing my body and my baby to decide when I will go into labor, and I do not want to rush this baby out of it perfect amniotic cocktail and into the painful harsh world, I desperatly want to meet my child. I am dying to know if it is a boy or a girl. I want the next phase of this. I want sleepless nights, breastfeeding, sore boobs, dirty newborn diapers, endless hours of pacing the hallway bouncing and patting and humming, rocking, swadling, singing, picking out the socks and hat to go with the matching onesie, spring day walks with an infant in my moby wrap. You get the idea. I want my baby. And I want it N-O-W. I want one more week, to 37 weeks (which is term) and then I want to have the baby. But I fear that I will go to the due date or beyond. And 4 weeks is really such a short amount of time. It is less than a month. But when you are looking so forward to something, time just stops. And in my world, time has stopped.

I lost more of my mp yesterday. We were taking the kids to the movies, and I made a pit stop before the movie started and there it was all over the toilet paper. This is the 2nd time it has happened. But I am not really having contractions, I have maybe 2 a day that take my breath away. There is no way those are doing a single thing except maybe getting my body ready for the real productive contractions. When I go in on Monday for my check up I don't expect to have made any progress. I expect him to say I am still high, thick, and closed up! I know Alex came 10 days early, but he was a big baby and he was born 14 months after his sister. I think my body was so ready at that time. Anyway, I am in no way anticipating going into labor early, or even any time soon. But I am anxious for when it will be here. I feel that it would be an easier row to hoe if I knew a date.

I want to congratulate Kate and TD on the arrival of their little girl yesterday morning!! Kate is a fellow blogger who I found when I was brand new to blogging and I had just come home from my transfer. I was in the 2 ww and she had just come out of hers and was 5 weeks ahead of me. She helped me get through some anxious times and not stress out on every little symptom. I am so happy for them and for their new arrival. What a lucky little girl!