Starting to feel real

Well, I have been on the stims for 5 days now, and my tummy is starting to pooch out from all the stimulating going on in my ovaries. We know I am never ready until about day 12, so I don't get to have an ultrasound this time until day 11, which means I don't know how many follices there are this time. Hopefully there are many!

Last night Chris and I went to "egg class" - which is where the embryologist gives a 2 hour class that covers everything from what I am doing now through retreival and into the embryo transfer. We saw pictures of each phase our little embryo will go through, from fertilization to implantation. Pretty exciting stuff. Chris is so sure it is going to work - I am a little less sure. I guess that is just each of our nature. The other night he told me he can't wait to see me with a big fat belly - I told him it might not even happen - he told me how can I say such a thing of course it will happen - I told him how is he so sure - ........ and on and on and on. He is the forever optimist and I am the constant pessimist.

I feel normal and good, just like I always do about this time. I am getting a little less energy and I feel guilty about it. I am a little edgy with my moods, and I feel guilty about it. In a couple days I will be tired and moody and I wont care one little bit! Last night the embryologist said that we are to be in bed or on the couch on the day of the transfer and the following days and only get up to have our meals. She then said "If you don't want to go to the table for your meals, you get HIM" and she pointed directly at Chris "to bring them to you!" It was great. No cleaning, no stress, no excercise, no sex, and no orgasims are what she told us. Nothing to cause stress or make our body temps go up or down. So no swimming of any kind either. She said that she feels that an embryo will want to stay in a nice calm stress free environment. I hope she is right! So, Chris is on strict orders not to tell me anything that goes on with the boy's mother - I told him I don't want to know if she calls, texts, emails, if he talks to her or if he ignores her I want to know nothing! I am going to listen to calming music and read books and be a princess for about 3 days. If that doesn't help the embryos implant, then at least I can say I did my best. I have been taking pre-natals for over 2 months to get my body all ready to go and trying to keep all the stress out of my life that is possible. Of course some people who are mad that we are having a baby are deliberatly trying to stress me out - but I refuse to allow it. This baby is my top priority right now!

Next week will be retreival - the end of next week that is. And 3 or 5 days later we will transfer. I wont know if it will be day 3 or day 5 until day 3. We make that decision on the morning of day 3.

Until next time...