Quick Update

Things are still going wonderful. Ashton is eating really well which I am so happy about. Even though I never had any issues with nursing my other two, I think there is always some aprehension that something might not go well. It is worrisome knowing that your body has to work right or else your little baby will starve! He poops at almost every feeding and his diapers are always wet, so we know he is getting enough from just me. He is staying awake longer and longer every day, just staring at us and listening to us ramble on to him. I swear I never stop talking to the kid. This morning as Ash, Chris, and I were waking up I had Ashton laying up on my legs and Chris was talking to him and he got the biggest smile on his face, it was so freaking adorable. Then Chris said the same thing to him again and he totally smiled again. They are so cute. Whenever Ash hears Chris talking his eyes get all big and he starts looking all around for his voice. He sleeps pretty well but we think he has his days and nights mixed up, because he nurses and goes to sleep almost all day long, but at night after he nurses he wants to stay up for a little bit. But today he was just up for like an hour until about 7:30 so I'm hoping that tuckered him out and he will sleep longer tonight. Usually at about 11:00 p.m. he wakes up and wants to just be held awake. Then after his 4 or 5 a.m. feeding he goes back to a deep sleep. He has been cluster feeding from midnight to 4 a.m. which means he just wants to nurse constantly. But I sleep and he does his thing so it works well.

As far as me, I am recovering nicely. All my steri-strips are off and I got to see my scar for the first time - it doesn't look too bad. It is longer than I thought it would be, but it is healing very well. The incision on the inside seems to bother me more than the one on the outside. But all in all it's not too bad. It has been so nice having Chris home and my mom here. I haven't had to do anything at all, so I can take things slow and I think that has really helped with the recovery. I feel no stress at all, and I can do whatever I want all day long. I have been trying to get out at least once a day, so we go to the mall or BRU or the bookstore. It's fun.

We love our son more than anything. Most of the day I just stare at him, or rock him and look out the window totally peaceful with myself and with life. I am the post-partum haze. I just want to look at my baby, be with my husband, hug and kiss the older kids, I am completely relaxed and mellow. I am happier than I remember being ever - and I am a very happy person with a very complete and happy life. But something about Ashton, being pregnant with him and having him, has changed me. I feel more at peace, less aggressive and more mellow. I don't care about so many small things that used to get on my nerves, I am peaceful and calm and just, happy. I have seen and felt the great amount of love my husband feels for me, I see it when he looks at his new son.

Honestly. I am so just in love with my life and everyone in it. I feel a peace in myself that I don't remember being there before. I owe that to my new son, he really has changed me.